ക WhyAskWhy¿ (11) ~ Weird Name

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle. He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He run towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian`s turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT !!!!!!!........." And It Turned Out To Be S%#T!! [this is from an email I received long ago thanks to the author for a good laugh].

Better be careful what we gonna say especially when someone flies off the handle! How about replacing it with 'shoot' sounds nicer? Sorry this post would be slightly 'dirty' as Wikipedia says ~ "Shit is usually considered vulgar and profane in Modern English..[..]. It may also be used as an expression of annoyance, surprise, or anger, and has other usages as well." When I was a little boy Bananaz has been eating a fruit with its weirdest name almost everyday fresh from the tree top. Ma Mama told Bananaz the name of this fruit in Hakka is *gai si gwo* literally means 'Chicken Shit Fruit'. Being the young niave Bananaz thought Mama made it up coz our chicken coop & shed is just nearby the tree. Little did I know its the actual slang name used by our locals. As we often say *jambu/pak kia* for guava in Hokkien in our village didn't realise it, not until in my later years that ma Mama told the truth *sorry Mama*. Oh what a fruit name? 'Chicken Shit Fruit' is the same in Cantonese/Hakka dialects *gai si gwo* which the formal name in Mandarin 番石榴 *fān shí liu* and in Malay its Jambu Batu and Tamil is கொய்யா 'koiyaa' . Bananaz is not fruitful finding the answer on the origin of this weird name. Hope to see light at end of tunnel with answers or clues from dearest readers.

(Left: seedless@RM5.00 per kg.) [ GUAVA ]  (Right: with seeds@RM2.50 per kg.)

Guavas are plants in the myrtle family (Myrtaceae) genus Psidium (meaning "pomegranate" in Latin), which contains about 100 species of tropical shrubs and small trees. They are native to Mexico, Central America, and northern South America. Guavas are now cultivated andnaturalized throughout the tropics and subtropics in Southeast Asia, Hawaii, the Caribbean, Florida and Africa. [Wikipedia]

Question : What is the difference between seedless guava and seeded guava, pick your preference?

iBananaz : Seedless guava no got seed and seeded guava got many many seedses like twinkle twinkle little starses can count one. I lupp seedless.

Mango : Seedless guava is 'artificial' and seeded guava is natural and original. My choice is 'with seeds'.

Warren Buffett : Value! Value! Value! Price should be less than 2/3 of intrinsic worth. Buy Limit Order or Better @RM2.50 'seeded'.

Isaac Newton : While sitting on a tree branch 10.0 m above the ground, you drop both seedless guava and seeded guava together. Pick the one that hit the ground first.

Albert Einstein : E=MC² ;  E≠GS²  Guava with Seeds².

Why did the chicken cross the road? : To shit on the Chicken Shit Fruits.

Steve Jobs : What is the difference between iPhone5 and iPad3? No iSee. Retired now in iCloud!

Bill Gates : Ctrl Alt Del, *Hang* Chicken shit all over screen!

An Addendum: Here's a very close answer posted by Autumn Belle on how the guava fruit got its 'chicken chit' slang name in our local dialects..

Autumn Belle said...
I remember back in the kampung, it is common to grow see a guava tree with small fruits (the size of a ping-pong ball), unlike the commercial ones which have large fruits. We will eat the fruit when it is ripe and it is very sweet. When an overripe yellow fruit drop to the ground in accordance to Newton's law of gravity, the fruit will make a splat and break open. The centre portion with the seeds do look like chicken droppings. I guess it could be this reason. I bet nowadays not many people have seen such homegrown guava fruit, neither have they seen 'fresh' chicken droppings! Have you eaten a yellow skined guava?

As for seedless fruits, as I know, if the flowers are not successfully pollinated, there will be no fruits or fruits with no seeds, eg. pineapple, banana. No sexual reproduction, hence no babies, haha.

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இ Life Begins at 60

A buddy sent a thought-provoking birthday wish regarding 'Life begins at 60' which Bananaz wish to share some points here. NOT that I consider anyone of you old. What were you like 20 years ago? What will you be like 20 years from now? Have you ever ponder on your eating and drinking habits? In early 20's we were eating roti canai, burgers and pizzas and as usual so kiasu by proving our virility downing beer faster than any of our buddies. At 40 our fast food speed slowed down, drinking Jack Daniel's on a gradual switch over to Chardonnay. At 60 we may be eating bran flakes and drinking prune juice, occasionally sipping Chinese tea to decrease abdominal fat. Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 60 years of age owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinion. But it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously.

 "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."  ~ Chili Davis

We have 3 Stupid stages of life.....
Teen Age: Have Time + Energy …but No Money;
Working Age: Have Money + Energy …but No Time;
Old Age: Have Time + Money …but no Energy.

Money is important: Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed and take it as a bonus. But never take it for granted. Plan now for a healthy and wealthy retirement before its too late.

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."  ~ Bob Hope

一寸光陰一寸金，寸金難買寸光陰 *yī cùn guāng yīn yī cùn jīn, cùn jīn nán mǎi cùn guāng yīn*. literally means An inch of time an inch of gold, an inch of gold can't buy an inch of time (idiom). Time is precious and must be treasured. It is almost like holding a horse's reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash — use it profitably.

"You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again."  ~ Bonnie Prudden.

Health is wealth: If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take up health insurance cover (sorry Bananaz not selling any insurance here). When young you neglected health to spend them chasing wealth and in later years you spend all wealth chasing back health.

"I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience."  ~ Author Unknown.

To those of us who are already there but young at heart and to those who will soon be there, slowly and surely, NEVER say ‘I am aged '. There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age. Live this moment.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." ~ George Burns

Forget and forgive: Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP. I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. So...Work like you don't need money; Love like you've never been hurt; Dance like no one's watching and probably can Hear.. Bananaz sing The Beatles greatest hit When I'm Sexty Four years later.

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter". ~ Mark Twain.

Overcome the fear of death: We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on. Time to put your affairs in order.

"They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression." ~ Rick Majerus


   

Everything has a purpose: Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and right in his own way. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. You can't remember who posted this entry over time. Stop worrying about the three little haunting 'F' words “friction, fatigue and frustration" of having creaky bones, limited motion, poor eyesight and faint hearing or shudders with fear regarding  A.A.A.D.D. Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty". ~ Henry Ford

An excerpt from Wikipedia ~ "Differences are sometimes made between populations of elderly people. Divisions are sometimes made between the young old (65–74), the middle old (75–84) and the oldest old (85+). However, problematic in this is that chronological age does not correlate perfectly with functional age, i.e. two people may be of the same age, but differ in their mental and physical capacities". Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. 薑還是老的辣 *jiāng hái shì lǎo delà*  literally means old ginger is hotter than young ginger / experience counts (idiom). Authorities in the former Soviet republic of Georgia claim a woman, Antisa Khvichava from a remote mountain village turned 130, making her the oldest person on Earth.

"Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read."  ~ Quoted by Francis Bacon, Apothegm

EYE TEST for those over 40 ONLY...

Bananaz did see sheep...at first. Then I looked closer to see if I recognized anyone! 

 

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இ 9/11 Remembered 九一一難忘 *jiǔ yī yī nánwàng*

Today is the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 the day the whole world watched in shock and horror over the monumental and devastating event in history on the soil of the greatest country on earth, America. Where were you on Sept 11 2001 and what do you remember? Bananaz was driving home when a friend called relating the event he saw on the news. When I got home the news were repeatedly on air and all I can remember was just like watching an old movie 'The Towering Inferno' on TV. Those who used to celebrate their birthdays the so called " 911s'" will never be the same any more as they have mixed feelings about 9/11. After New York 9/11.. this message was circulated, a good reminder for all even after all these 3651 days to be constantly reminded of the little things..

Image courtesy of www.history.com (click pix for wallpaper size)

~The ' L I T T L E ' Things~

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man, who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone...all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where G~d wants me to be at this very moment.. Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every red light, don't get mad or frustrated; it may be just that G~d is at work watching over you. May G~d continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose. [Author unknown].

Do you believe this "Things Happen For A Reason" can this be a proof? Sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair? Do you think it is a coincidence, pure luck and a fluke or karma? 

Image courtesy of www.history.com (click pix for wallpaper size or the link for details on the rebuilding of 1 WTC, the tallest building in USA and the reason why at 1776 feet.)

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இ What Make$ The World Go 'Round¿

Great long holidays enabling Bananaz to search for one particular email one by one, month by month at the same time spring cleaning up my inbox of over 17,000 emails. Managed to sweep some under the carpet, some diverted to other email accounts and some headed straight into Mr Recycle Bin. Ever wonder what happened to all the bytes emptied from the recycle bin? They cannot just vapourised into thin air? Could they be lurking around every corner of the key board or hard disk eavesdropping or phishing for information? Appreciate it if anyone has an answer to throw in some light where had all the bytes gone to after leaving the recycle bin? Two days of hard work searching for this email, tQ to Steven Lee here is the story *bear with me if you have heard about it*:

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.
Scared..she confides this 'news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The father added "wait till I get my hands on this idiot I'm gonna break his bones"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

Image courtesy of www.ferrari.com (the new 458 Spider) 

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the 'Problem'.

However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take full responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and..[...]


~pause~


Are you thinking of what I was thinking, the worst ever bloodshed coupled with breaking of bones?

Make a wild guess; to continue.. : Click Here Exit

[...] At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

" You can try again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Now that the hungry ghost month is over its more relax to talk about ghost. When someone is able to do the 'impossible' with money we use this Chinese idiom 有錢能使鬼推磨 *pinyin:yǒu qián néng shǐ guǐ tuī mó* lit. means money will make the ghost spin millstones *refer pix below*. So money can even make a hippo or elephant climb trees or make frogs jump quantum leap further than the 7 metres world record.



Who says it is impossible for an elephant to climb trees? Bananaz Beleaf It Or Not..¿

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