ക WhyAskWhy¿ (14) An inch of time? 一寸光陰一寸金?

    

Time and tide waits for no man Bananaz. Gosh time flies. Tempus fugit with just a blink of an eye and half a year has gone by already since his last CNY post. An old Chinese idiom that stresses the value of time by the inch and it goes like this : ~ '一寸光陰一寸金，寸金難買寸光陰' *yī cùn guāng yīn yī cùn jīn, cùn jīn nán mǎi cùn guāng yīn* "An inch of time is worth an inch of gold; yet you can't buy an inch of time with an inch of gold." *Guāng yīn* 光陰 refers to the sun's shadow which is equivalent to time, lit. An interval of time is worth an ounce of gold, money cannot buy you time. Time is precious and must be treasured.

Why*Ask*Why time is being measured by units of length in olden China? The answer lies in the most ancient time-measuring instrument used which consists of two parts, the gnomon-and-ruler *guibiao* 圭表. The gnomon (pronounced 'noh-mon') *biǎo* 表 is the post or stone pillar standing upright on the ground to cast a shadow on the marked tablet called the ruler *guī* 圭. Since time can be measured by the length of the shadow, thus to describe the duration of time with  "inch" simply sounds logical.

image courtesy of hua.umf.maine.edu

"In the nick of time" is an English idiom for 'at the last possible moment' where a nick was a mark on a stick which was used in the past to measure time. Ancient Chinese would use 'in the inch of time' and in school we learned about seconds and hours. In this modern era the younger generation got a cool way of telling time, saying 'see you in a bit'? Any idea what to expect in years to come for the next new generation to tell time?

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (13) Ah Long 大耳窿 *Big Ear Hole*

Strange enough this name 'Ah Long' has been accepted en masse by a wide variety of ethnic groups in Malaysia. WhyAskWhy on the origin of this notorious name for money lender aka Loan Shark come into existence? Hearsay the name originated from Hong Kong where those days  the person who loans out money are called Chettiars, who love piercing their ears and wearing big earring.

As years go by the hole at the ear lobe stretches bigger and bigger. The same effect would apply to the loan that they give out as most borrowers are unable to repay the loan when the compounded loan amount gets bigger and bigger, just like the ear piercing hole, hence the Cantonese called them "Dai Yee Long"大耳窿 daai6 ji5 lung1 literally *Big Ear Hole* a colloquial term for illegal loan shark better known as Ah Long or Along in Malaysia and Singapore.

It is very common for Chinese to replace the middle name with "Ah", so as to be more friendly or closeness? Maybe this should trigger Bananaz to post about in future. Come to think about it all my siblings are of no exception where their last name is after the word "Ah".  Some examples will be like 'Ah Soon Fast Food' or 'Ah Fatt Noodles'. Therefore it is not surprising for 'Dai Yee Long' to become Ah Long *啊窿*. 

Ah Longs are one of the worst in graffiti with zero skills in spray paint on the walls of the house or property of defaulters. Their only best art is to paint "O$P$" meaning "owe money, pay money". Bananaz is not elaborating on their threat of violence suffered by the borrowers or their family members. You can read more on "Stay Away from Loan Sharks or Being Risk Eaten Alive" from  Seniors Aloud.

What is the difference between a Bank and Ah Long?
Some said no difference at all, except that loan sharks are unlicensed and can be imprisoned for what they do, whereas banks can do the same legally. Banks would require some time after the paperwork for approval of loan but its pre-approved almost instantly by Ah Longs. Somebody has said Banks won't break your arms and legs like what the Ah Longs are doing, well they're right instead a bank will break your spirit.  Borrowers go to the Banks dealing with sweet elegant customer service officers. Ah Longs come to you with tattoos all over their body. (disclaimer: not every persons with tattoos all over their body are Ah Longs). HERE is a true life story of one blogger who had gone through hell with Ah Long for being a guarantor.

 

Above is a live performance by Afdlin Shauki aka Chief Kodok & Din Beramboi as guest artistes in AHA2 portraying them selves as 'Along from Bukit Beruntung'. Sorry the video is not very sharp and its in Bahasa Malaysia anyway its basically a comedy show of how Ah Longs solicit for business with no requirement of IRB returns form, Bank's 6 months statements not needed and no guarantor involved. But if you don't pay up chances are the Ah Longs will mutilate your fingers or  arm. They ended the song naming the various branches nationwide and the number to call @ 24/7 service ext 12.
 

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (12) 油炸鬼 Oil-fried Devil

source:Wikipedia

Nope! Bananaz not blogging about food better to leave it to the foodie experts. Been eating the Chinese cruller 油炸鬼 *pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' better known in proper Mandarin as 油條 *pinyin:yóutiáo* since a kid which is made of dough, deep fried to golden-brown and usually a popular food eaten for breakfast. After all these years of munching the Chinese crullers, the devilish name 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' did not strike Bananaz's WhyAskWhy until lately after his nephew shared the story which started the wok frying to go into further details and research of how on earth which and what devil got deep fried in the oil?


By mentioning the name Yuè Fēi 岳飛, (AD1103 – 1142) two sets of distinctive four Chinese words would trigger the mind for those who had known Chinese history. Yes it's 十二金牌 and 盡忠報國. The first set was an order by Emperor Gaozong高宗 who was under the evil influence of his official issued the 十二金牌*pinyin:shí'èr jīn pái* Twelve Golden Medallions to recall Yuè Fēi to return to the capital fearing he could be too powerful after he has led his army to recover most of the lost territory and the latter set is the four Chinese characters 盡忠報國*pinyin:jìn zhōng bào guó* which was tatooed across Yuè Fēi's back by his beloved mother meaning to serve and protect the country with utmost loyalty. What could be the relationship between a military General Yuè Fēi, an icon of patriotism and national hero in Chinese culture and the evil Oil-Fried Devil?

That's how the medallion roughly looks like. Pixz taken from the movie by Shaw Brothers "Twelve Golden  Medallions"

The story goes back to the Song Dynasty's Prime Minister Qin Hui or Guì 秦檜 and his wife, Lady Wang王氏 conspired with two of his subordinates, Moqi Xie万俟軼 and Zhang Jun 張俊, who successfully framed and caused the death of the innocent military General Yuè Fēi. According to folklore, the people of Hangzhou became extremely angry, hating Qin Hu and his wife to the bone protested by making the cruller depicting Qin Hui秦檜 and his wife with one roll representing the husband and the other the wife joining together and fried them in oil calling out loudly the name 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui'. As 檜Hui and 鬼Gui were conflated with its homophone eventually 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui' evolved to 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' and even until today. In Cantonese-speaking areas it is known as yàu cha gwái *油炸鬼* where '鬼' *gwái* also refers to devil or ghost. Truth or Myth? Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not!

 
(Kindly take note the actual Oil-fried Devil is after 0.19mins the earlier ones are called 'mah geok' meaning horse legs. tQ to Autumn Belle for the info.)

For their treacherous part that caused the death of Yuè Fēi 岳飛, the most famous patriot, martyr and hero in Chinese history, iron statues of Qin Hui, Lady Wang, and two of Qin Hui's subordinates, Moqi Xie and Zhang Jun, were made to kneel before Yuè Fēi's tomb (located by Hangzhou's West Lake). For centuries, these statues have been cursed, spat and urinated upon by young and old. However in modern times, these statues are protected as historical relics. As one enters the gateposts of Yuè Fēi's mausoleum there is a poem which reads: "The green hill is fortunate to be the burial ground of a loyal general, the white iron was innocent to be cast into the statues of traitors."

Iron statues of the Qin Hui, Lady Wang, Moqi Xie & Zhang Jun with General Yuè Fēi in the middle, source:Wikipedia

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (11) ~ Weird Name

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle. He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He run towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian`s turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT !!!!!!!........." And It Turned Out To Be S%#T!! [this is from an email I received long ago thanks to the author for a good laugh].

Better be careful what we gonna say especially when someone flies off the handle! How about replacing it with 'shoot' sounds nicer? Sorry this post would be slightly 'dirty' as Wikipedia says ~ "Shit is usually considered vulgar and profane in Modern English..[..]. It may also be used as an expression of annoyance, surprise, or anger, and has other usages as well." When I was a little boy Bananaz has been eating a fruit with its weirdest name almost everyday fresh from the tree top. Ma Mama told Bananaz the name of this fruit in Hakka is *gai si gwo* literally means 'Chicken Shit Fruit'. Being the young niave Bananaz thought Mama made it up coz our chicken coop & shed is just nearby the tree. Little did I know its the actual slang name used by our locals. As we often say *jambu/pak kia* for guava in Hokkien in our village didn't realise it, not until in my later years that ma Mama told the truth *sorry Mama*. Oh what a fruit name? 'Chicken Shit Fruit' is the same in Cantonese/Hakka dialects *gai si gwo* which the formal name in Mandarin 番石榴 *fān shí liu* and in Malay its Jambu Batu and Tamil is கொய்யா 'koiyaa' . Bananaz is not fruitful finding the answer on the origin of this weird name. Hope to see light at end of tunnel with answers or clues from dearest readers.

(Left: seedless@RM5.00 per kg.) [ GUAVA ]  (Right: with seeds@RM2.50 per kg.)

Guavas are plants in the myrtle family (Myrtaceae) genus Psidium (meaning "pomegranate" in Latin), which contains about 100 species of tropical shrubs and small trees. They are native to Mexico, Central America, and northern South America. Guavas are now cultivated andnaturalized throughout the tropics and subtropics in Southeast Asia, Hawaii, the Caribbean, Florida and Africa. [Wikipedia]

Question : What is the difference between seedless guava and seeded guava, pick your preference?

iBananaz : Seedless guava no got seed and seeded guava got many many seedses like twinkle twinkle little starses can count one. I lupp seedless.

Mango : Seedless guava is 'artificial' and seeded guava is natural and original. My choice is 'with seeds'.

Warren Buffett : Value! Value! Value! Price should be less than 2/3 of intrinsic worth. Buy Limit Order or Better @RM2.50 'seeded'.

Isaac Newton : While sitting on a tree branch 10.0 m above the ground, you drop both seedless guava and seeded guava together. Pick the one that hit the ground first.

Albert Einstein : E=MC² ;  E≠GS²  Guava with Seeds².

Why did the chicken cross the road? : To shit on the Chicken Shit Fruits.

Steve Jobs : What is the difference between iPhone5 and iPad3? No iSee. Retired now in iCloud!

Bill Gates : Ctrl Alt Del, *Hang* Chicken shit all over screen!

An Addendum: Here's a very close answer posted by Autumn Belle on how the guava fruit got its 'chicken chit' slang name in our local dialects..

Autumn Belle said...
I remember back in the kampung, it is common to grow see a guava tree with small fruits (the size of a ping-pong ball), unlike the commercial ones which have large fruits. We will eat the fruit when it is ripe and it is very sweet. When an overripe yellow fruit drop to the ground in accordance to Newton's law of gravity, the fruit will make a splat and break open. The centre portion with the seeds do look like chicken droppings. I guess it could be this reason. I bet nowadays not many people have seen such homegrown guava fruit, neither have they seen 'fresh' chicken droppings! Have you eaten a yellow skined guava?

As for seedless fruits, as I know, if the flowers are not successfully pollinated, there will be no fruits or fruits with no seeds, eg. pineapple, banana. No sexual reproduction, hence no babies, haha.

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (10) ~ DimSum 點心 & Finger Tapping

The saying goes "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" or rather "The shortest road to a man's heart is down the 3 inches throat?" Which ever way it would find the way to touch the heart thus the Chinese word *點心* DimSum [Cantonese] or Diǎn Xin [PinYin] which loosely translated to "touch d'heart". DimSum originated with the Cantonese in Southern China. Dumplings, delicate rolls and tiny balls which were filled with finely chopped vegetables, meat or fish, steamed in xiaolong, a little round bamboo basket.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Majority would usually love to drink Chinese tea with DimSum however the younger generation would prefer coke or icy cold soft drinks. Ever noticed during a yum cha 飲茶, drinking tea in any Chinese restaurant it is customary to pour tea for others during dim sum before filling one's own cup? A custom unique to the Chinese is to thank the person pouring the tea by tapping with one, two or three fingers on the table. Why*Ask*Why how this fingers tapping on the table started?

Emperor Qianlong (1711 -1799)  Image courtesy of Wikipedia

According to legend it traced back to Emperor Qianlong (1711-1799) 乾隆帝; *Qiánlóngdì* of the Qing Dynasty, reigned the country for sixty years from 1735 who was a passionate poet and essayist. Due to his strong passion towards massive art collection, it has propelled him to travel incognito throughout the country with his landscape paintings to compare them with the actual landscapes. Emperor Qianlong was the most famous in Chinese history for his wénwǔ *文武*, civil and military ability. Further more he has the world's most sensitive taste buds who enjoyed an abundance of exotic delicacies during his travel which also acclaimed him the most renowned traveller of 'The six Southern and four Eastern tour'.

It was at one teahouse Emperor Qianlong was particularly fascinated by the way people were able to pour tea without spilling a drop. The Emperor decided to have a go to try out pouring for his companions. However his actions would constitute a breach of protocol for allowing his companions not to bow before him. If they bow in public his secret identity as a commoner would be exposed. The Emperor established a "bow" with their three fingers each time he refilled their cup - two fingers represented the prostrate arms and the middle finger the bowed head. His first try was a blunder spilling tea all over the table. Constant practice makes perfect eventually the Emperor succeeded without spilling a single drop. So happy tapping when someone fills up your tea cup as a sign to say thank you..Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not..

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (9) ~ SEVENs

Thanks to Jingle for the 'Versatile Award' to tell 7 random facts about yourself and also to Mariuca for the 'Stylish Blogger Award' to share 7 things about yourself. Sorry for the delay to recollect my thoughts to fulfil the requirements. Could not take it any longer as the guilt has been haunting and bugging Bananaz for quite some time. A blessing in disguise that the tags gave me the inspiration to share 7 Good, Bad & Ugly of Bananaz into seven separate posts. Will have to wait for my next post before I can embark and begin to peel off the 7 yellow skins after I get over with this SEVEN thingy. Why*Ask*Why the significance of this number 7 is so common in fairy tales, advertisements, trade marks, various religions, folklore and casinos etc.

Why does this recurring #7 so magical and mystical to be selected and obsessed by so many? To kick off shall start with The 7 colors of the Rainbow ~ Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet famously abbreviated as 'vibgyor' or the mnemonic “Roy G. Biv.” To keep the ball rolling there is this 7-UP; 7 Eleven; 7 Dwarfs; 7 Seas ~ The Arctic and Antarctic, North & South Pacific, North & South Atlantic, and the Indian Ocean; 7 classical planets ~ the Sun, the Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, and Saturn; 7 chakras ~ Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye & Crown; 7 cardinal sins ~ pride, avarice, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth; 7 wonders of the natural/ancient World; 7 basic musical notes do-re-me-fa-so-la-ti; 7 days a week; 7 heavens; 7 directions ~ north, south, east, west, up, down and center; 7 spot ladybird; 7 ~ the neutral pH value between acidity and alkalinity; 777 Jackpot and lastly the often over used lame excuses, the 7-year Itch (probably there are more but will have to stop here else its never ending).

Bananaz is typing and scratching the head trying to figure out how and why the #7 gets all the limelight shinning radiantly head and shoulders above the rest? Could it be based on science and technology or superstition or because 7 is the most spiritual of all numbers and considered most 'lucky' that's why they used 777 for jackpots? It beats me, your guess is just as good as mine. Anyone to throw in some light please?

Click here for more details of seven

Now what will the Chinese people got to say about #7七 in their very own way? Heard of 7 early 8 early? 七早qī zǎo 八早 bā zǎo, cracking up your brains early in the morning hey! Here you go:

1. 七情qīqíng  : 7 effects of traditional Chinese medical theory and therapy ~ joy 喜xǐ, anger 怒nù, anxiety憂yōu, thought 思sī, grief 悲bēi, fear 恐kǒng, fright 驚jīng;

2. 七方qīfāng : 7 kinds of Chinese medicine prescriptions 大方dàfāng, 小方xiǎofāng, 缓方huǎnfāng, 急方jífāng, 奇方qífāng, 偶方ǒufāng and 重方chóng fāng or 複方fùfāng;

3. 亂七八糟 luàn qī bā zāo : everything in disorder (idiom);

4. 七上八下qī shàng bā xià : perturbed state of mind (idiom);

5. 七仙女qī xiān nǚ : seven fairies

6. 七七八八qīqī bābā : 7788 ~ Its our slang for 'almost complete' or 'near completion'. To make it a complete 7 have to add one more which is quite timely with 清明節 QīngMíngjié (lit. pure brightness or tomb-sweeping) festival, beginning of April in China, September in Japan in relation with souls.

7. 七七 qīqī : (seven sevens equals 49), a Daoist services for the auspicious reincarnation of the departed. Chinese of the Daoism faith believed in 三魂sānhún three (immortal souls) and 七魄qīpò (seven mortal forms). So both these four words will go together forming 三魂七魄sānhúnqīpò. It is believed that when a person dies his/her soul would return on the 7th day. Special prayers and chanting will be conducted every week until seven sevens ie 49 days then all prayers and chanting will come to an end and that the soul has reincarnated. Strangely enough both these two Chinese words 魂hún & 魂pò have got a radical ghost 鬼guǐ in each word. o.O

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (8) ~ 你是我的菜

Guess what these 5 Chinese characters would spur your mind? 你是我的菜 nǐ shì wǒ de cài, literally it means *You are my vegie* huh!  How will Pete or Suituapui gonna cook this kind of vegetable, you prefer steam or fried? [BTW congratz to Pete, his blog got featured in today's Star ~ Sunday Metro entitled "Discovering Lumut"]. Saw the wordings and pix of vegie on a T shirt worn by the kopi girl (a coffee shop waitress) at my favourite kopi tiam and I cheekily asked "Darling are you my vegie?" She replied with an outright answer without hesitation ~ 'NO'. Aiya there goes my achy breaky heart. Lesson #1 never to ask this sort of question in front of your girl friend, a huge mistake lolz or old enough to be her dad. *sobs*.

Wokay wokay getting serious a bit. We have known this kopi girl for quite sometime for we are regulars to this kopi tiam and her name is Ling and not Darling. What struck me as a Bananaz, I could not figure out the last word which I was told it's 菜 cài *vegie* a slang for 'babe' or 'chick'. Why vegie and not something else or maybe 'tomato' sounds cool too right *chuckled*? At least the slang for chicken is prostitute cos of the homophone in Why*Ask*Why [7]. No wonder I often hear lovely vegies this, cute vegies that, especially in Cantonese movies.  But I do come across this saying as well, when a man *usually sugar daddy* gets swindled by a woman, he is said to be 砍菜頭 kǎn cài tóu [chopped vegie head]. Oh gee! Could there be a relation between the vegie for ladies and the vegie head for men or its totally two different vegie slangs?  Any *sifu* kind enough to give some input on the difference please.

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ക Why Ask Why¿ (7) Chirpy Chirpy 雞雞 Cheep Cheep

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Alphabetically it goes without saying chicken arrives earlier than egg. We can debate on this dilemma based on Mathematics, Evolution or Theology until the cows chickens come home and yet not a single egg would be hatched. Facts gathered from Wikipedia says the chicken (scientific name: Gallus gallus domesticus) is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the Red Junglefowl. One of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 70 billion being killed annually and there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird as compared to the world human population of adding one birth every second with this counter as at time of posting is 6,868,443,783.

It has been quite some years back a lot of people got caught on with this chicken riddle "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" The public unanimously agreed to this sort after tagline ~ 'to get to the other side'. You can find 1001 creative, weird and brilliant answers from the internet [here]. Bananaz just thought of two in relation to the airline industry and horror movie and have picked three more from the internet for sharing:

The Chickens crossed the road to watch a horror movie

Air Asia : Now Every Chicken Can Fly..no need to cross any roads anymore.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your checkbook and eat your neighbor.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I have a dream! I have a dream of a day, when ALL chickens can cross ALL roads without having their motives called into question

Hamlet: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: -

Why Ask Why¿ (7) : Chicken = Prostitute ¿
Chicken in Mandarin/Chinese is pronounced as jī 雞 with the same homophone pronounced as jì 妓 [prostitute]. This slang "chicken" as " prostitute" is commonly known and widely used among the Chinese community. What a name? Opposite slang for gigolo is accepted as 鴨 yā [duck]. Oh me oh my we are into chicken and duck talk now. Just be careful with your conversation that could be disastrous like this scenario Bananaz and gang encountered during lunch. The owner of the chicken rice stall brought over the food to our table and asked "Who called chicken?" and all of us with eyes popped out and jaws opened. It literally means who called for a prostitute? Gosh and the one who ordered the chicken rice was a lady colleague. If he had added 'chicken rice' then its lunch.

To add on to another story a true Banana [English educated] who studied in overseas for a very long time came home for a holiday and wanted chicken breast 雞胸 for his chicken rice. Requested the bozz in direct Cantonese translation 'gai nin' which is 'chicken boobs' instead of saying 'gai hung'. o.Oppps! You would expect the worst if the hawker bozz is a fierce lady.. 

Wishing all Hindu readers A Happy & Blessed Thaipusam தைப்பூசம் ~Vel Vel Shakti Vel~[20Jan2011]. Click [here] or pix below for the song 'Muruga Muruga'.

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (6) Threes & Sixes

Here are some most popular idioms that we used to hear which involves 'threes' and 'sixes'. *WhyAskWhy* threes (3) & sixes (6)? For all you know accordingly some are just imaginary numbers and Bananaz picked on the three most frequently used sayings where they are often said in movies or in our everyday life. 

[i]. 三口六面 sān kǒu liù miàn [lit. 3 mouths 6 faces]

In most cases to clear of some misunderstanding it is often to sit down among three parties where three (3) mouths and 'the left + right' = two faces to become six (6) faces. It is not necessarily be 3 person, the most sensible approach is for the parties involved to explain all about it 'face to face'.
Example: We have to  '三口六面 3 mouths 6 faces' clear the misunderstanding with the Chong's tonight..

[ii]. 三頭六臂 sān tóu liù bì [lit.3 heads 6 arms]

Normally refers to people to have 3 heads and 6 arms or superhuman who are good in multi-tasking and extremely talented.
Example: Bozz how to finish the workload by tonight? You think I've got '三頭六臂 3 heads 6 arms?'

[iii]. 三姑六婆 sān gū liù pó [lit.3 aunts 6 elderly women]

This one is a bit tricky and Bananaz would need 'professional' help as some sources refer sān gū to the 3 nuns where some refer to father's sisters associated with gossips and the Six (6) po's or elderly women : tQ [SK] who added this " 三姑sān gū actually means 姑婆gūpó, 姑媽gūmā and 姑姐gūjiě".

1.Teeth po 牙婆yápó ~ traffickers of women or concubines; 2.Matchmaker po 媒婆méipó ~ designed to introduce female human; 3.Master po 师婆shīpó ~ witch woman; 4.Qiánpó虔婆 ~ brothel madam or immodest woman; 5.Medicine po 药婆yàopó ~ to give medical treatment with drugs or harm others; 6.Stable po 稳婆wěn pó ~ Formerly known as the court or the official service of the midwives. Six women is the name of a variety of professional usually disreputable or illegal professions sometimes a person can wear many hats.
Example: I hate to go visiting during Chinese New Year lots of  '三姑六婆 3 aunts 6 elderly women' giving me lots of pressure asking why I'm not married yet.

Today is the Double Ten Day ++ (traditional Chinese: 雙十節; pinyin: Shuāng Shí Jié) is the national day of the Republic of China and celebrates the start of the Wuchang Uprising of October 10, 1911, which led to the collapse of the Qing Dynasty in China and establishment of the Republic of China on January 1, 1912. Read more from wikipedia. Not only Double Ten but a perfect Triple Ten 10.10.10..

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (5) ~ Hopping Chinese Vampires 僵屍 jiāng shī

The Lunar 7th month aka the Hungry Ghost Month would stir up lots of taboos and scary stories. Ever Why*Ask*Why the Chinese vampires hop around with arms, hands and fingers raised at shoulder level? Oh me oh my could this be real or the movie makers fabricated the whole thing? In the movies you will see with a strike of the gong by the taoist priest the corpses will hop and strike two would hop another step only with the paper amulet 符咒[fúzhòu] in Mandarin, glued on the forehead, very often called "fish head" {hu dou} in Hokkien coz of the similarity in sound. The dead would be dressed in a special garment used by high ranking officials during the Qing Dynasty known as 'Longevity' clothes 壽衣 [shòu yì] which is still in 'fashion' for the dead until today. Check it out on the video below if you have not seen any hopping Chinese vampires  僵屍  [ jiāng shī ] before {rest assured not scary at all, trust me!} and then continue reading the second part to get a better picture..

Those ancient days 500 years ago the only means of common transport is by foot and horses were practically too expensive then. When someone passed on and away from their village, their corpse needs to be transported back home for the funeral ceremony and burial. The then 'courier' service for corpses had been in business already. In order to maximise the time, space and man power two person would be good enough to transport the corpses with the taoist priest chanting along. Two long strong bamboo poles are the only 'vehicle' required. With the corpses cleanly washed and thereafter dressed in longevity clothes, the corpse's two arms will be tied securely at shoulder level onto the two bamboo poles which are placed below the armpits to support the corpse. [For illustration kindly refer to the pix for an example of 3 vampires tied on to 2 bamboo poles, viewing from top elevation]. Once done the two courier men, one at the front and the other at the back of the two bamboo poles with a few corpses in the middle would be ready to move on. When they begin their journey there will be a harmonic bouncing motion due to the flexibility of the two bamboo poles thus from afar it seems like the vampires are hopping in the night. Of course the movie maker would add salt and pepper to spice up the scene with the power of the priest who can control those vampires with just a bell and amulets and etc.

So could this be true and will the theory of bamboo poles story making the corpses hop like ghosts hold water or just another hearsay or moviemaker's fantasy? Would leave it entirely up to you.. Bananaஇ'z Beleaf It Or Not!

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இ Dead Slow Tortoise Speed

Not very sure it's because of the Waka Waka from South Africa that 'vuvuzela-ed' the internet speed. Obviously the sound pressure of 120 dB would not slow down the internet speed but certainly would deafen the ears. In actual fact the sound of Vuvuzelas (learned the word from foongpc's Random notes #13) has attracted the whole world to logon the internet and more or less can safely say it's most likely one of the prime culprits. Made a few complaints to TM regarding  the dead slow speed of the 1.0M package and was advised by the technical team to run a test and lodge a complain which I did. Based on the results I need to choose the time to surf and go online as not to clash with World Cup matches at least until early July to re-monitor again. Would I be jumping into conclusion way too soon? Anyone has other findings or answers why the internet speed was crawling like tortoise? Check this out for comparison:

Disclaimer: *'The speedometer is valid for Streamyx and Business Broadband users only'


Test 1. TM Speedometer 2.0.5

Date: 26June2010 @ Time: 00:33HRS (click to enlarge pix)
Download Speed: 164 kbps (21 KB/sec transfer rate)
Upload Speed : 294 kbps (37 KB/sec transfer rate)

Test 2. TM Speedometer 2.0.5

Date: 26June2010 @ Time: 13:26HRS (click to enlarge pix)
Download Speed : 1775 kbps (222 KB/sec transfer rate)
Upload Speed: 464 kbps (58 KB/sec transfer rate)


Test 3. SpeedTest (Independent)

Date: 26June2010 @ Time : 13:45HRS (click to enlarge pix)
Download Speed : 1333 kbps
Upload Speed : 410 kbps

For those not screaming with TM Screamyx services can check it out using this independent speedtest and would like to hear from you on the results. BTW do you have any idea where we stand in the speed ranking as at today? The country with the multimedia super corridor  is placed at No.106 for downloading and No.90 for uploading according to Speedtest.net and which country is world's Top? Anyonghaseyo 안녕하세요 salute to South Korea who scored No. 1 for both downloading & uploading speed. Whoa! Impressed with our friendly neighbours Cambodia and Vietnam who are ahead of us..

Use Pingtest.net to determine the quality of your broadband Internet connection. Streaming media, voice, video communications, and online gaming require more than just raw speed. Test your connection now to get your Pingtest.net rating.

Since on the subject of tortoise how about some tongue twisting in Cantonese? Have fun..
三元一斤雞, 三元 一斤龜,
saam1 maan1 yat1 gan1 gai1, saam1 maan1 yat1 gan1 gwai1
你話啦, 雞貴過龜, 龜貴過 雞?
nei5 wa2 la1 gai1 gwai3 gwo1 gwai1, gwai1 gwai3 gwo1 gai?

[$3 one catty chicken, $3 one catty tortoise] (1 catty = 0.5kg)
[You tell me chicken cost more than tortoise or tortoise cost more than chicken?]

Why*Ask*Why:

Often hear people say '38' 三八 [sanbā] relating to a person whose IQ is below average and 王八 [wángbā] has got some connection to tortoise right? Did it occur to you that you have been saying them too? Bananaz is real curious and would appreciate your comments how and why these two words came into being.

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (04) ~ 'Gostan' & 'Calefare'

GOSTAN ~ Remember Bananaz last post about double parking? See I told you and even warned you much earlier not to double park! This is the cause and effect of double parking.. *just kidding*. In Malaysia the Malays, Chinese and Indians would use this common colloquial word 'gostan' without any problem its more like a national word now. Give a wild guess what the hell is this word 'gostan' and how did it come about?

Slowly and surely this word 'go astern' has gradually gone 'a turn' into the Malaysian scene and evolved to become 'gostan'. "Can you please 'gostan' your car a little bit more I need to get out from this parking lot?" Does this word 'gostan' rings a bell, sounds familiar? There is even one flyover in Penang near to Lam Wah Ee hospital nicknamed "gostan flyover" because its a single lane and only one car can go through the flyover and if there is any car breakdown all those cars behind would have to 'gostan' hence the nickname.

CALEFARE (Pronounced as "care-lair-fare") [Cantonese] ~ Lately have been seeing this word "calefare" being flowing constantly in the comments columns from Donna and quite timely to share how 'calefare' came into being. In the movie industry in Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong this word 'calefare' will not be missed from the lips of movie directors or filming crew. Calefare refers to those 'non-important' acting roles for actors or actresses or the so called extras. Just like us during our primary days we would have done this before in school where all students be given a small flag either to welcome some VIPs or in school activities. Our role is to 'Carry Flag' and waive as hard as we can when the siren of outriders echoed the school compound with the VVIPs tailing behind or participate in any streets procession celebrating Independence Day waving the flags.

Hong Kong would be no exception with the students doing the same itsy bitsy tiny role of carry flag. Knowing the HongKees who are renowned for their Cantonese slang while speaking English coupled with the Asian consonant syndrome of mis-pronouncing 'R' with 'L' ended up as 'cally flag' and eventually cemented the word as 'calefare'. Bananaz got this version from an elderly optician who learned about it while on vacation in Hong Kong, of course there could be other version but I found this quite close as some refers to the food with curry and cafe [Mandarin version]. If you know of the original and true version would truly appreciate your comments please.

There is one Singaporean sitcom series titled "Calefare" starred by the 'Don't play play PCK' Gurmit Singh but nothing being mentioned about the origin of 'calefare'.

ஞ Blunder : #08.

Those days after watching war movie we would imitate the marching of soldiers and yelled it loud 'lap by lap' all the way home from the cinema. Naive thinking then thought it got something to do with footwork so that's it must be 'lap by lap'. It went on for quite some years until we finally realised our 'lap' does not synchronise with the right arm. We have to kiss our lap goodbye after so many wrong donkey years 'lapped by'. Take a wild guess what is the actual three words? .. its 'Left Right Left'. What the heck 'lap by lap' dude!!! *Paiseh* Blushing..

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (03) Buy East-West ~ 買東西 [mǎi dōngxī]

Ever wonder why in Mandarin when we say go to supermarket to buy things its 'buy East-West' ~ 買東西 [mǎi dōngxī]? Buying a 'direction' huh! If that is the case why not buy South North 買南北 [mǎi nánběi] instead of 'buy East West' 買東西 [mǎi dōngxī]? Thankz to lǎoshī Jeannie for shedding a light on Why*Ask*Why. There are many different versions and answers for this question. Her most favorite one is: In Tang dynasty, the capital Chang'an is the most populous city at the time. Business men all over the world went to Chang'an for trading. The markets were at the east and west of the city, over time, people say 買東西.[mǎi dōngxī] literally means buying East- West or things.

In the past Bananaz was facing a tough time to synchronize the Chinese and English on the four directions and always take 東 [dōng] as North and cannot fully comprehend sunrise and sunset in Chinese when East & West got me totally confused. In English when it comes to direction we start from North  and clockwise down NorthEastSouthWest but in Chinese, East comes first  therefore its EastSouthWestNorth ~ 東南西北 [dōng nán xī běi]. Have you heard of this greetings "what wind brings you here in Chinese? Common, usual and most expected answer sure to be ESWN wind ~ 東南西北風 [dōng nán xī běi fēng]. To add on, in English the direction would be North South but in Chinese its *South North* so the name North South Highway when spoken/written in Chinese will read South North Highway 南北大道 [nánběi dà dào].

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ക WHYAskWHY¿ (02) Generation~Y

Any idea what is the new Generation called ~ X,Y or Z? Seems like "Generation-Y" alludes to a succession from "Generation X" with the exact date debatable. So when will "Generation-Z" begins? Buzz words surfaced for Generation-Y such as the Millennial Generation or Generation Next or Net Generation. Oh what a name! So are you convinced now and agreeable the latest is Generation "Y"¿

As a second part of Why*Ask*Why or rather Y*Ask*Y to see what is churning into the minds of "Generation-Y" which the BabyBoomers and before them did not bother or care to think about. The story goes like this...

Daughter 'Q' asked mama why she must cut off a small portion of the slab o'meat before cooking it? Mama said "lovie dear sorry I don't have the slightest idea I just follow my mom, why not you ask grandma over the weekend?". A week later little daughter 'Q' posed the very same pertinent question to which her grandma says "beats me sweetie I don't have a single clue, I dare not even ask".
Answer:  Those days they did not have the opportunity of a much bigger pan. In order to fit into the small pan they need to resize thus cutting of one small portion of the slab o'meat solved the problem. Oh yeah dinner is ready..

Image courtesy of FunnyPostcard.com

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. A very talented chef, a fast learner, never gossip except for some snarl and whimper at times.

Blunder #6 : I have been wrong for many many donkey years to pronounce 'Tiger' 老虎 [lǎohǔ] as 'lǎofu' in Chinese/Mandarin. Thanks to friend, Jenifer for her sharp ears to catch my mistake. Well learning Mandarin by ear can be no easy task. Could have been influenced by our very own dialects as we say tiger as 'fu' in Hakka as well as in Cantonese but its pronounced otherwise as 'Hu' in Mandarin same as Hokkien and TeowChew its called 'hor' with the 'H' consonant sound..

oOOPs the *Y* pops up again. We all know about the 12 Chinese zodiac animals but why for tiger and mouse we sort of add another word, {old} 'lao 老' not in terms of 'old' as in age but like 'old' buddy. Tiger is better known as old tiger 老虎 [lǎohǔ] and mouse as old mouse 老鼠 [lǎoshǔ]? Why not old dog, old chicken or old snake etc why only old tiger and old mouse? Someone I asked before answered back direct into my face "is it important?". Some just shook their head with a smile and some performed the nonverbal communication with a shrug. That's the Bananaz's true nature, curious and inquisitive. You never ask you never get, you never get you never know ~;o)

Coming up next : lǎoshǔ ài dàmǐ 老鼠愛大米

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ - (01) Your Head 你的頭 [nǐ de tóu]

"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" ~ King James version. This will be a start of a series of WhyAskethWhy asking all the Why's in our common colloquiality. Ever wonder most of the time whether its in Chinese (all dialects) or Bahasa Malaysia we converse colloquially and when we conveniently translate it literally to English or rather Manglish? Examples like 'switch of the lights' we directly translate into 'close the fire' as in Cantonese we say 'san for' or in Bahasa Malaysia 'tutup api' where the correct term should be "san tang or sik tang" & "padam lampu" respectively.

Below are some examples of a cell phone conversation..see how 'Your Head' is loosely used..

Nancy: What are you doing now, blogging ah?
Debbie: Blog "Your Head" where got blog! All our computers are down so boring..

Pete: Ah Chong enjoying your lunch in the new nice restaurant can come back to office early..?
Ah Chong: Nice 'Your Head'! Service sucks terrible place my first and last time coming here..

Johnny: Joyce can you come to office by 9:30am need to change the presentation of the power point slides urgently..
Joyce:  Meeting! meeting! "Your Head" I am stuck in this sickening jam for hours already..

Your Head 你的頭 [nǐ de tóu]

Almost all Chinese dialects would frequently utter "Your Head" during frustration and I wonder is this two words accepted in Queen's English? Even our good old neighbor PCK Pte Ltd - a Singaporean sitcom, 'best in Singapore, JB and some say Batam' also cannot escape "Your Head". One level up which is more crudely and deadly is "Your dead man's head" ~  你的死人頭 [nǐde de sǐ rén tóu]. Anyone with the slightest idea and logical reason WHY "Your Head" is so widely spoken? What about our friendly overseas bloggers any of this two words "Your Head" sounds familiar to you or ever being used in your country or none at all?

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