இ What Make$ The World Go 'Round¿

Great long holidays enabling Bananaz to search for one particular email one by one, month by month at the same time spring cleaning up my inbox of over 17,000 emails. Managed to sweep some under the carpet, some diverted to other email accounts and some headed straight into Mr Recycle Bin. Ever wonder what happened to all the bytes emptied from the recycle bin? They cannot just vapourised into thin air? Could they be lurking around every corner of the key board or hard disk eavesdropping or phishing for information? Appreciate it if anyone has an answer to throw in some light where had all the bytes gone to after leaving the recycle bin? Two days of hard work searching for this email, tQ to Steven Lee here is the story *bear with me if you have heard about it*:

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.
Scared..she confides this 'news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The father added "wait till I get my hands on this idiot I'm gonna break his bones"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

Image courtesy of www.ferrari.com (the new 458 Spider) 

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the 'Problem'.

However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take full responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and..[...]


~pause~


Are you thinking of what I was thinking, the worst ever bloodshed coupled with breaking of bones?

Make a wild guess; to continue.. : Click Here Exit

[...] At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

" You can try again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Now that the hungry ghost month is over its more relax to talk about ghost. When someone is able to do the 'impossible' with money we use this Chinese idiom 有錢能使鬼推磨 *pinyin:yǒu qián néng shǐ guǐ tuī mó* lit. means money will make the ghost spin millstones *refer pix below*. So money can even make a hippo or elephant climb trees or make frogs jump quantum leap further than the 7 metres world record.



Who says it is impossible for an elephant to climb trees? Bananaz Beleaf It Or Not..¿

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இ Cover your ass

Some would have known this stale story received from email and special thanks to the original author of an old donkey who accidentally fell into an old well but the farmer did not try his level best to retrieve the donkey and given up hope easily and decided that the animal was old so might as well buried it. Firstly as not to see it suffer so much and secondly closing up the well would prevent future accidents. To the farmer's surprise each time he shovel in the dirt the donkey would shake it off and take a step up and pretty soon, the donkey managed to step up over the edge of the well and escaped death!

For full donkey story : Click Here Exit

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realised what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

****

When life is going to shovel dirt, all kinds of dirt on you, the trick to get out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a bold step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have. Count your blessings and remember nothing is perfect. Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.

Give more and expect the least.

Expect change. Do not be upset with change, it is inevitable, it is the norm; kids will grow up, people will pass on and jobs will come and go.


“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.



NOW .......

Enough of that crap! The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

****



MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

In almost all corporations when you do something wrong and try to Cover Your Ass ~ *CYA* it always comes back to bite you sooner or later. Are you aware that donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks? (So watch your ass)..Bananaz Beleaf It Or Not ¿

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இ Day No Talk People..

The other day Hayley posted 'You kiasu I kiasi' then next would come 'kiabor' 'lit. afraid of wife aka henpecked husband. Maybe posting kiabor can wait prefer to post about the hottest topic of this lunar 7th month which would be over pretty soon. Another kia-ism linking with the hungry ghost month regarding 'kiakui' (Hokkien), afraid of ghost. Will the real Ghostbuster please stand up! Pleasant words like 'unseen beings' or 好兄弟 pinyin: hao xiongdi "good brothers" are replacement for ~ ghost. Ironically old folks have been warning us not to mention ghost but instead we say it even more, almost every where day or night. How is that? Unconsciously the word slipped through our lips automatically and we are not aware of it. For this particular post Bananz would be using Cantonese in the Chinese character for expression of the common spoken conversation.

日頭唔好講人,夜晚唔好講鬼 jat6 tau4* m4 hou2 gong2 jan4, je6 maan5 m4 hou2 gong2 gwai2. Lit. Day no talk people night no talk ghost which is equivalent to our English's 'speak of the devil' but seems like nothing can stop us talking about it..

1. 呃鬼食豆腐咩 *ak1 gwai2 sik6 dau6 fu6 meh1* ~ cheat ghost eat tofu. [are you kidding me?]

2. 老友鬼鬼 *lou5 yau5 gwai2 gwai2* ~ old friend ghost ghost. [buddies/old friends or pal].

3. 鬼死咁亂 *gwai2 sei2 gam3 lyun6* ~ ghost die so messy [extremely messy].

4. 好鬼麻煩 * hou2 gwai2 maa4 faan4* ~ good ghost trouble [troublesome].

5. 無鬼用 *mou5 gwai2 jung6* ~ no ghost use [good for nothing].

6. 咁鬼醜樣 gam3 gwai2 cau2 joeng6 ~ so ghost ugly [very ugly].

7.心中有鬼 *sam1 zung1 yau5 gwai2* ~ heart center got ghost [guilty conscience].

8. 搞乜鬼 *gaau2 mat1 gwai2* ~ play what ghost? [what the heck you are doing?].

9. 有錢能使鬼推磨 *yau5 cin4 nang4 sai2 gwai2 teoi1 mo6* ~ got money can make ghost turn millstones [you can do wonders with money].

Now how are we supposed to zip up and seal our lips not to say 'ghost', ghostly impossible huh. There are more but only stick with what Bananaz are familiar with else it will be 鬼咁長 *gwai2 gam3 zoeng2* ghost so long and never ending. Taken a bolder step by posting this entry without consulting ma soulmate Mango on the correct Chinese characters. Appreciate if you could highlight to me if something is not right. Not to worry rest assured Bananaz is not a 小氣鬼 *siu2 hei3 gwai2* small gas ghost [narrow minded] and certainly welcome any suggestions. Care to add more 'ghosts' to share in your comments.

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (10) ~ DimSum 點心 & Finger Tapping

The saying goes "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" or rather "The shortest road to a man's heart is down the 3 inches throat?" Which ever way it would find the way to touch the heart thus the Chinese word *點心* DimSum [Cantonese] or Diǎn Xin [PinYin] which loosely translated to "touch d'heart". DimSum originated with the Cantonese in Southern China. Dumplings, delicate rolls and tiny balls which were filled with finely chopped vegetables, meat or fish, steamed in xiaolong, a little round bamboo basket.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Majority would usually love to drink Chinese tea with DimSum however the younger generation would prefer coke or icy cold soft drinks. Ever noticed during a yum cha 飲茶, drinking tea in any Chinese restaurant it is customary to pour tea for others during dim sum before filling one's own cup? A custom unique to the Chinese is to thank the person pouring the tea by tapping with one, two or three fingers on the table. Why*Ask*Why how this fingers tapping on the table started?

Emperor Qianlong (1711 -1799)  Image courtesy of Wikipedia

According to legend it traced back to Emperor Qianlong (1711-1799) 乾隆帝; *Qiánlóngdì* of the Qing Dynasty, reigned the country for sixty years from 1735 who was a passionate poet and essayist. Due to his strong passion towards massive art collection, it has propelled him to travel incognito throughout the country with his landscape paintings to compare them with the actual landscapes. Emperor Qianlong was the most famous in Chinese history for his wénwǔ *文武*, civil and military ability. Further more he has the world's most sensitive taste buds who enjoyed an abundance of exotic delicacies during his travel which also acclaimed him the most renowned traveller of 'The six Southern and four Eastern tour'.

It was at one teahouse Emperor Qianlong was particularly fascinated by the way people were able to pour tea without spilling a drop. The Emperor decided to have a go to try out pouring for his companions. However his actions would constitute a breach of protocol for allowing his companions not to bow before him. If they bow in public his secret identity as a commoner would be exposed. The Emperor established a "bow" with their three fingers each time he refilled their cup - two fingers represented the prostrate arms and the middle finger the bowed head. His first try was a blunder spilling tea all over the table. Constant practice makes perfect eventually the Emperor succeeded without spilling a single drop. So happy tapping when someone fills up your tea cup as a sign to say thank you..Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not..

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இ Gostan Parking

A friend commented on Bananaz's go astern *gostan* parking "Why you turn your whole head backwards while reversing your car. Why can't you use the side mirrors, that's wrong driving!". Oh really? For those who are taking 'L' driving lessons in the 70s behind the wheel of a black Morris Minor do not have the privilege of what we called the side mirror aka fender mirror, door mirror, wing mirror, or side-view mirror. Ma Mango is using the side mirror for reversing her car. Dunno about the rest of the baby boomers but Bananaz was taught by the driving instructor, to turn the shoulder mid way with head backwards looking through the rear windscreen while performing a reverse parking during those 'L' lessons and old habits die-hard. Those days side mirrors were not a common sight for cars.

Trafficator circled yellow ~ image courtesy of Wikipedia

Since on the subject of The Morris Minor would take this opportunity to share some adventures of Bananaz with his Papa's first car which is also a black Morris Minor 1000 with registration number plate P 5169. Two distinctive features that Bananaz would like to highlight as many may not have the opportunity to see this kind of 50s car anymore. First unique and outstanding part of a Morris Minor is the signal lights which is the retractable semaphores called trafficators about 7 inches in length mounted high up in between the front and back door frame. It will protrude out horizontally when the switch is operated by a lever in the panel and has a lighted bulb inside the trafficators to facilitate night driving. Modern terms we call them turn signals — formally called "directional indicators" and informally known as "blinkers", "indicators" or "flashers".

Trafficators ~ Pix courtesy of Wikipedia

The second feature if you will notice from the video clip or top picture, the Morris Minor has a split and raked windscreen with the panes of ordinary window glass which are flat compared to the modern panoramic or wrap-around windscreen with toughened tempered glass. Technological change over time with great invention, innovation and diffusion of technology.

Thanks to "musicandtoys" for the YouTube and as you can see @0.18 & 0.30 the protruding and retracting of the trafficator..real cool! However they were fragile and could be easily broken off and also a tendency to get stuck in the closed position.

Bananaz had the Morris Minor with an 'L' from the driving school for 3 months driving lessons and pass the test with 'take one'. What car did you drive for the 3 months 'L' lessons? Most of you may be luckier than Bananaz to get a SLK *Slick Little Kancil* or Daihatsu car. My dear sister had 'take four' to pass her driving test and at one of the tests, the JPJ tester drove her back coz she scared the hell out of him. So what's your driver's license story? Care to share the kopi-o drama?

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