இ SàiWēng shī mǎ 塞翁失馬

Just one last single lonely sheet of calendar left hanging on the wall for Year 2011 with only a teeny weeny little block to be crossed out before we blast off Year 2012 when the clock strikes at midnight. Reflecting over the months, life on the overall is like a roller coaster ride with ups and downs constantly in a state of flux. Congratz to those who lived life to their fullest meeting your desired achievements and for some not faring too well please do not despair. Every cloud has a silver lining @ 天無絕人之路 tiān wú jué rén zhīlù. Ending 2011 with an idiom hopefully it may strike a chord.

 塞翁失馬;焉知非福 pinyin:*SàiWēng shī mǎ;  yān zhī fēi fú* Sài Wēng lost his horse, is it [mis]fortune? (Idiom)

There is this old man called SàiWēng 塞翁, staying at the border of the northern frontier of China, who raised horses for a living. Out of the unexpected his prized horse ran away into the nearby mountains. On hearing this bad news, the neighbours came to offer moral support to comfort him. He surprised them by not getting upset at all and said "Perhaps this may turn out to be a good thing". Sure enough a few days later his prized horse return with a wild stallion. Again news spread to the whole village with the neighbours congratulating him. This time SàiWēng replied "Perhaps this may not be such good luck after all" which puzzled the neighbours even more. The very next day his only son was eager to ride on the wild stallion. Unfortunately he was thrown off the horse, hurled a few feet into mid air. That bad landing cost him dearly who suffered a broken leg and restricted his mobility probably for months to recover. The friendly neighbours came again to console SàiWēng, who wisely responded "Perhaps this may turn out to be a good thing". Sure enough few weeks later a warlord came to town enlisting young able men for battle. A blessing in disguise for SàiWēng's son who was of no use to the army with an injured leg. Almost all the young soldiers who fought in the battle field walked the road of no return as chances of survival are slim.



Moral of the story: Life is full of changes and challenges. One has to learn to face and accept losses and not to over react to misfortunes and the same not to be overjoyed by gains or successes. Things happen for a reason.  It is not often we are as fit as a fiddle or facing shortfalls meeting our target. 人無千日好, 花無百日紅 *Pinyin: rén wú qiān rì hǎo, huā wú bǎi rì hóng* literally. people no 1000 days good (healthy), flowers no hundred days red. Which means humans do fall sick once in a while within 1000 days and flowers shall not bloom forever over hundred days. Good and bad times do not last long forever. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst ~:~ 明天會更好 @ ~:~ míngtiān huì gènghǎo:: tomorrow will be a better day.

Happy is the man who can endure the highest and lowest fortune. He who has endured such vicissitudes with equanimity has deprived misfortune of its power. ~ Seneca



Seizing this very moment to say THANK YOU to all my readers and for your invaluable and interesting comments. Wishing All A Blessed H:A:P:P:Y N:E:W Y:E:A:R 2012!!!
Orkut Graphics Scraps

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இ FELIZ NAVIDAD & HAPPY TWO JILO ONE TWO

Today is Christmas Day, it coincides with the first day of the Chinese 12th Lunar Month. In 7 days from now we shall be ushering in the New Year 2012 and in a month's time to welcome the 1st day of the 1st Lunar Month in the Year of the Dragon 龍 on 23 Jan 2012. It is the ideal time for giving and receiving with rejoice. Weeweechu a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Two Jilo One Two!

O Holy Night ~ by Rhema Marvanne, an amazing 7 year old girl singer..whoa her sweet voice just blows me away.


O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night
Of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the soul felt His worth
A thrill of hope
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine, oh night, oh night divine

Chains shall He break
For the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy
In grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord, let ever ever praise Thee
Noël, Noël
Oh night, Oh night divine
Noël, Noël
Oh night, Oh night divine
Noël, Noël
Oh, O holy night


Click on the 'snowflake' icon at the bottom right after you start to play the video for the snow flakes to gently fall accompanying this awesome song and cover your screen background of flurry snowflakes.

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இ Scared Die People 嚇死人

This early beautiful morning heard a 'thud' sound echoing through my window followed with a loud cry by Mango from the kitchen ~ ' 嚇死人' *xià sǐ rén* lit.'scared die people'. In English we do use this phrase "scared to death" its a matter of placing the words. Bear with me for a moment while Bananaz digress with why we are quite sure to say 'die' before an exclamation mark when faced with surprises? Most common, 'Die lah I forgot to turn off the air-con at home' or 'this time sure die one my husband is gonna fly off the handle for damaging his precious car'. Sounds familiar? WhyAskWhy? Sorry no answers this round! Maybe its good to figure it out why, open up our mind to reflect why we subconsciously utter this word 'die' in almost all negativities?

Thanks for your patience let's continue with that loud thud sound. Some fellas have fallen out of bed while jumping sky high guess that's bad parenting with no proper control. If its a human being, no language barrier for Bananaz but the problem is, its a bird. What kind of language to speak to the parents to get a king size bed or build a bigger nest and to tell them off, no jumping on the bed next time? How about 'Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep'?

Yes it was our 'uninvited' guest, this wild bird might have fallen from the nest built some years ago at our laundry area, crashed onto our washing machine, bounced over a couple of feet before landing on the floor. Dashed to the kitchen when Mango asked to kindly rescue that poor bird who was lying with wings all flat out, lucky its still moving. Oh Mamma Mia, on second glance its not only one but two birds locked in each other's wings telling live story of the birds and the bees. Told Mango we better not be cruel to interrupt a loving couple who fell from cloud 9 and now in heavenly kingdom but to grab the camera on the double.

Beak to beak cheek to cheek, they just ignore us like we are transparent..

One of them said "Don't leave any love marks on my neck" [the bird do pecks on the neck haha].

Two loving birds together as one



Both remain still for couple of minutes then got up and up up and away..

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இ Hair

Hairdressing business comes in all shapes and sizes. Just recently Merryn posted her son's first hair cut at 4 years old, sitting comfortably without any tussle while his locks of hair snipped by a hairdresser. They sure have their ways to appease kids to sit still with nice toy cars and pretty smiling faces as opposed to those boring bulky barber's chair those days. SeniorsAloud captured a pixz of a street barber in India operating with merely a chair and one giant size mirror under a tree and he is in business. Autumn Belle posted a recent entry of a barber in action who can handle an A-Z hair style. We have all kinds of barbers, One-man show barber, unisex hair salon with London trained hair stylists etc. Lately there is this franchise hair salon business offering quick haircut, mushrooming all over the country charging around RM13.00 - RM15.00 (ave U$4.60). Are you as fussy as Bananaz who just don't feel good over a bad haircut or you are OK with just any hair dresser will do as long as its to your convenience?

Many may not get to see or hear of this kind of activities and skills in a hair salon anymore in our modern era. Below is Peggy, my client and also my trusted hairdresser for the past decade. Timing was not on my side as there is no traditional 'ear picking' on that day sorry no pixz for that. What the heck is 'ear-picking'? Bananaz has never tried personally before but quite curious and tempted to have a go, but Peggy forewarned me that it could be addictive. MercuryNews.com, quoted a Vietnamese resident "It brings a lot of happiness". He also likened a good ear picking to good sex and fans of ear picking have gleefully talked about 'ear-gasms'. Whoa! Any takers?

source: chineseetymology.org

Peggy then showed me her set of ear pick instrument, traditionally made from bamboo as shown in the bottom pixz. Noticed the upper pixz of a lamp with the shade? That's for shining the light into the ear to scoop the earwax out of the ear canal. The cost for ear picking is RM14.00 (U$4.50) and the haircut is RM12.00 (US3.90) an extra RM1.00 more than my last previous Indian barber.

This hair salon is situated near China Town, Petaling Street, KL and the fate of their business is in the hands of the expansion of the LRT station, right now at a limbo as they are in one of those row of shop houses subject to be demolished. (tQ HappySurfer who added there is no demolishing but to be relocated temporary). An old salon open for men only, mostly senior citizens who are their loyal regulars of more than 2 decades with not much of walk-ins or new customers. Sad to say the occupation of these 6 hairdressers can be considered pretty dim. Firstly it takes time to transfer their skills to their next generation, moreover their young ones are not interested, not lucrative to them. Secondly as the diminishing of their loyal regulars who are either dying off one after another or too old with restrictive mobility going for a haircut dampens their revenue. Eventually this skills of ear picking would be lost and over time would completely die out and no longer in practice. According to Peggy, she is committed to carry on until she drops dead or not nimble with the scissors or her eyes are failing her, then to call it quits. 

'Down Puff ' source:Wikipedia

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இ Crazy Times..

While brisk walking around our apartment one beautiful morning with Mango these round circular objects above caught my attention to see them neatly arranged in regimented order.  Is there a medical term for a person who has a phobia over direction. A friend's friend will always constantly ask for NESW direction 'where am I now'? So what can we gather from these parabola dish? Thinking..shall give you 1 minute..oh need more time OK how about 60 seconds then.   

That's right all of them faced WEST. If you need to know the compass direction when buying a house or apartment the dish would be a good guide as they need to face west for clear video streaming reception until unless Astro upgrade the MEASAT-1 satellite to face South.

Besides having great business acumen is not good enough. One must have creativity and dare to be different to stay ahead. Look at how creative the owner of this shop coming up with this eye-catching banner. Written in Malay "TAUKEH SUDAH GILA! CINCAI CINCAI JUAL!" the direct translation "Bozz Gone CRAZY!, Simply Simply Sell!" The Chinese version '平平賣/卖 píngpíng mài' meaning "Cheap Cheap Sell!" and the bozz claimed to be the Malaysia's No.1 CRAZY! Probably the bozz can see home light at the end of the tunnel.

Two colleagues were having a good belly laugh about receiving a SUV on his 63th birthday from lovely wife. Could not help myself laughing at their hilarious expressions. Incidentally a transcript from BBC Learning English "The combination of a good guffaw and exercise is said to stretch muscles and trigger endorphins - the chemical in the brain known for its feel-good effect." What is so overwhelming to receive that *sport utility vehicle* SUV? 

S - socks

U - underwear

V - viagra

[confession: the SUV is a joke but the two blokes are my colleagues, most importantly we share the laughter and be part of the laughter yoga like the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine..~;).]

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இ Back To School..

A Caucasian friend was scratching his head wondering how we Malaysian Chinese speaks English? He may be very surprised to meet someone who speaks impeccable Queen's English with no flaw. Politely he asked Bananaz do we encode our thoughts in Chinese arranged them in proper sequence, decode then speak out in English? Wow never thought it was so complex, maybe Bananaz is exaggerating here by adding salt and vinegar. No longer the case now, but as a kid we do faced that challenge of transferring Chinese data word for word to English. Bananaz neither read English newspapers *none at home only in Chinese but can only browsed at the pictures coz Bananaz can't read Chinese* nor have the habit of reading books during his childhood days therefore you can roughly guess the end result of his grade in English. Dear readers please execute excuse me and bear with my English, it would be even better if you care to point out my mistakes especially my rotten grammer would appreciate it very much.

Unlike my daughter Nikki who scored straight A's in her English through out her primary and secondary school. When during our shopping, she was less than 4 years then, would sit on the floor to read while her old folks take their own sweet time in picking the right choice of dresses. Knowing pretty well she's not allowed to read while Papa Bananaz is driving, she would hang on to that page and flipped it open when we stopped at red traffic light. To save cost would rent books from Noble Book Rental in Carnavon St, Penang where she gets her weekly supply of books. As years go by she just loved reading, even buying books with her own pocket money. Wonder what reading speed she would clocked at to finish J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter within four hours. Phew I take my hat off to her. So bottom line is kindly encourage and support your children to READ! READ! READ! more.

Take a trip down memory lane with Bananaz and back to school with half-past six Enggrish:

இAbout school fees: 
Bananaz : Sir no bring come (Hokkien ~ 'boh gia lai')沒帶來 *pinyin* méi dài lái

இTo the lavatory:
Bananaz: Teacher can go pass water? (Hokkien ~ kee pung jio)
Nikki: Can I take a leak?

இBicycle with flat tyre:
Bananaz: My bicycle no wind. (Hokkien ~ kar chia boh hong) 

இMine:Yours:Whose:
Bananaz: That red book is mine one, yours one is the black one. This green pen is whose one?

இOthers:Misc:
Bananaz: Why like that one? (Hokkien ~ aun chua aun neh kuan)

Care to add in more Chinglish? The more the merrier.

Note: Hokkien is the dominating dialect in the Northern Region though Bananaz's mother tongue is Hakka.   

We often hear this phrase or seen Bing Crosby's show about "Kids say the darndest things", kids could also DO crazy damnedest things.

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இ No School

That's right when as a kid we often say this 'Tomorrow No School' on any public holidays or term holidays. Hope we are not the proximate cause of heart attacks for our English teachers then, perhaps Suituapui got to thank his lucky stars for not having this bunch of students like us in his English class.

It has been a week since schools nationwide in Malaysia are closed for the annual 7 weeks final term holiday. What a temporary relief as the number of road hogs within the premises of schools and highways during peak hours are at a minimal, thus a smooth flow of traffic. HappySurfer blogged about school is out where her colleagues are clocking in early at work with better mood. Also a tremendous relief for parents who need not have to get up extra early clutching the steering wheel in anxieties, braving traffic jams sending their children to school. Those who shuttles back and forth daily to office by car would have some relaxation on their brake pedal, well at least until schools reopen next year.

Not sure about the rest, Bananaz had mixed feeling during his child hood school holidays. Jubilant over a few weeks break but some how over shadowed by sadness of being broke, no school equals no money! Back in the 60's, my 30sen pocket money were given by Papa from Mon-Fri only, weekends and holidays makan sendiri *eat your own*. So 10sen for a packet of take away economy noodles bought early in the morning while on the way to school to be eaten at recess time. How nice by then the noodles had doubled its size because of the curry gravy and the balance of money after drinks would straight go into my porcelain rooster money box supposedly for emergency use only and that emergency is everyday during the school holidays lolz. Wonder how much pocket money are the kids receiving from their parents nowadays? Wanna share some of your experience?

Most Chinese character derived its words from pictorial drawings and over the years the word 'car ' from a pictogram of a cart/chariot gradually transformed to car 車 *pinyin* [chē].  Enjoy the video clip to learn more on the illustration of the strokes and pronunciation. The simplified version is 车.

 

A car車 is no longer a luxury any more but a necessity which is a must for every household. Anyway, Bananaz would make an exception for [SK] & SeniorsAloud who travel by other means of transport which is their preference. Human beings are strange creatures..they send their car on the dot for preventive maintenance when it reaches every 5000km on the odometer, replacing spark plugs, oil filter and engine oil etc. True enough a car is paramount but how many would make it a point to go for medical check once a year which is just as important? Well, when was the last time you have taken your battered body for a blood screening test or a dentist check up? Do you know your latest BP rate and cholesterol level? Would like to reiterate here, many are falling into this pitfall of chasing wealth when young at the expense of health but when older to spend wealth chasing back health. Just a friendly reminder please go for a full medical check up NOW ~ Just Do It!


OK relax since tomorrow no school and no office, its a public holiday, let's have some fun with numbers. This is very freakishly accurate to find out..your role model.

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???
Try it without looking at answers below (plz don't cheat)
1) Pick your favourite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number
5) Add the digits together into a single digit







Now with that number scroll down do a match to see who is your ROLE MODEL from the list below:

ROLE MODEL: 
1. Albert Einstein
2. Barack Obama
3. Mother Teresa
4. Martin Luther King Jr
5. Bill Gates
6. Mahatma Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. Warren Buffet
9. Bananazஇ
10. Margaret Thatcher

I know, I know....I just have that special effect on people to go bananas ....one day you too can be like me...~;). Beleaf me! Whoa! Stop changing different numbers becoz I am still your favorite role model, just deal with it. Muahahaha!!!!
Bananaz giving credit to the original joker & tQ to LeeBC for getting me trapped.

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இ Years To Live¿

G~d created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years."

 


The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.



Then G~d created the dog, and told him, "You are dog and will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion and man's best friend. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years."

 
And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, take in mercy 15 years off my life." And it was so.



G~d then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like a clown. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 Years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, take off I pray for 10 years." And it was so.



Finally, G~d created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world.  The power of thought and judgment shall be yours, and the capacity of disclosing your innermost thoughts by means of speech. You will dominate the earth and your life shall be 25 years." And the man responded, "What is the good of living in pleasure and in might, if all the years of my life are to be 25 is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And the Lord granted his wishes.

So G~d made Man to live 25 years as a king and ruler over all creatures for the twenty five years which the Lord had given to him, in joy and in happiness, without care and without trouble until 25 years later..assing & working pretty hard for the money, barely surviving with all the back stabbing, woofing to keep the wealth protected & finally clowning with grand children¿. We hear fantasies from people wishing to be different and to be free of which eagle seems to be the most popular choice. A familiar popular El Condor Pasa says it all with "I rather be a sparrow than a snail..". Even 古巨基 Leo Ko in his song 愛與誠 wants be a cat or a dog than to be a lover. The singer desperately needs "love potion number 9"

"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well" ~ Voltaire.

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: Bananaz recognizes that religious humor can be risky. It is my hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, gross or irreverent I truly apologize. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown - but we thank them.

A new trend has EXPLODED in China’s upper class where people are transforming their pets into miniature versions of animals, fairy’s or just dying them crazy colours but Pandas seem to be a big hit and obviously their favourite. It’s becoming a huge industry and people are spending thousands of dollar$ in professional hair dye, salon cuts, clothing, accessories and whatnot to achieve their desired 'animal' to their liking.

Its ain't easy even to be a dog, think again if you rather be a dog, though they are pretty cute. Received these pixz from daughter Nikki and  the source unknown.

20112011

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இ To Hear, Or Not To Hear

"If I could have only one of my senses then I would choose hearing, Then I wouldn't feel so all alone." ~ Helen Keller

"One third of our life is spent with our eyes closed, because we are asleep. An estimated twenty years. Yet in any second of those twenty years our ears can command our eyes to open and search for the source of a sound. When our eyes are open our ears can hear through walls, and all around where our eyes cannot see and still command our eyes to search for the source of sounds." ~ Jim S. Davis II, BC-HIS, ACA.

So now how important is your hearing? Have it checked.

Any sound above 85 dB (decibel) can cause hearing loss, and the loss is related both to the power of the sound as well as the length of exposure. You know that you are listening to an 85-dB sound if you have to raise your voice to be heard by somebody else. Eight hours of 90-dB sound can cause damage to your ears; any exposure to 140-dB sound causes immediate damage (and causes actual pain). More info HERE.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine beautiful day.

One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn't it?”

“No,” the second man replied, “it's Thursday.”

And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let's have a beer.”

Chinese Idiom: 掩耳盗铃*pinyin:yǎn ěr dào líng [lit. Cover Ear Steal Bell]

 掩 : yǎn *cover* | 耳 : ěr *ear* | 盗 : dào *steal* | 铃 : líng *bell*

 A thief sneaked into the house of Fan at night and saw a huge bronze bell hanging in the front yard. Since bronze could fetch him a good price, without hesitation decided to take it back home. However he faced a stiff problem as it was too heavy to be carried away. He then thought of another idea if he could break the bell into pieces that would solved all his transportation problem. With a first strike of his hammer it gave out a loud deafening bang which caught the thief by surprise and shook him terribly by covering his ears with both hands. At this instance he exclaimed "Aha the sound of the bell can not be heard when the ears are covered." He ripped off part of his clothes and scrolled them into two earplugs and stuffed into his ears. Through out the hammering in the middle of the night the banging noise of the bell woke up all the neighbours and he was caught red handed. The foolish man did not know that the only one who could not hear the sound of the bell was himself.

Image courtesy of  Baidu

This idiom 掩耳盗铃*pinyin:yǎn ěr dào líng* [To plug one's ears when stealing the bell] is used to satirize those who think they are smart but only deceive themselves. This applies to someone who does bad things and buries his head in the sand trying to pull a fast one in telling the world he is innocent.

"You have to hear what you don't want to hear, to know what you don't want to hear" ~ Dr. Gustav Mueller

 

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ക WhyAskWhy¿ (12) 油炸鬼 Oil-fried Devil

source:Wikipedia

Nope! Bananaz not blogging about food better to leave it to the foodie experts. Been eating the Chinese cruller 油炸鬼 *pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' better known in proper Mandarin as 油條 *pinyin:yóutiáo* since a kid which is made of dough, deep fried to golden-brown and usually a popular food eaten for breakfast. After all these years of munching the Chinese crullers, the devilish name 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' did not strike Bananaz's WhyAskWhy until lately after his nephew shared the story which started the wok frying to go into further details and research of how on earth which and what devil got deep fried in the oil?


By mentioning the name Yuè Fēi 岳飛, (AD1103 – 1142) two sets of distinctive four Chinese words would trigger the mind for those who had known Chinese history. Yes it's 十二金牌 and 盡忠報國. The first set was an order by Emperor Gaozong高宗 who was under the evil influence of his official issued the 十二金牌*pinyin:shí'èr jīn pái* Twelve Golden Medallions to recall Yuè Fēi to return to the capital fearing he could be too powerful after he has led his army to recover most of the lost territory and the latter set is the four Chinese characters 盡忠報國*pinyin:jìn zhōng bào guó* which was tatooed across Yuè Fēi's back by his beloved mother meaning to serve and protect the country with utmost loyalty. What could be the relationship between a military General Yuè Fēi, an icon of patriotism and national hero in Chinese culture and the evil Oil-Fried Devil?

That's how the medallion roughly looks like. Pixz taken from the movie by Shaw Brothers "Twelve Golden  Medallions"

The story goes back to the Song Dynasty's Prime Minister Qin Hui or Guì 秦檜 and his wife, Lady Wang王氏 conspired with two of his subordinates, Moqi Xie万俟軼 and Zhang Jun 張俊, who successfully framed and caused the death of the innocent military General Yuè Fēi. According to folklore, the people of Hangzhou became extremely angry, hating Qin Hu and his wife to the bone protested by making the cruller depicting Qin Hui秦檜 and his wife with one roll representing the husband and the other the wife joining together and fried them in oil calling out loudly the name 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui'. As 檜Hui and 鬼Gui were conflated with its homophone eventually 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui' evolved to 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' and even until today. In Cantonese-speaking areas it is known as yàu cha gwái *油炸鬼* where '鬼' *gwái* also refers to devil or ghost. Truth or Myth? Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not!

 
(Kindly take note the actual Oil-fried Devil is after 0.19mins the earlier ones are called 'mah geok' meaning horse legs. tQ to Autumn Belle for the info.)

For their treacherous part that caused the death of Yuè Fēi 岳飛, the most famous patriot, martyr and hero in Chinese history, iron statues of Qin Hui, Lady Wang, and two of Qin Hui's subordinates, Moqi Xie and Zhang Jun, were made to kneel before Yuè Fēi's tomb (located by Hangzhou's West Lake). For centuries, these statues have been cursed, spat and urinated upon by young and old. However in modern times, these statues are protected as historical relics. As one enters the gateposts of Yuè Fēi's mausoleum there is a poem which reads: "The green hill is fortunate to be the burial ground of a loyal general, the white iron was innocent to be cast into the statues of traitors."

Iron statues of the Qin Hui, Lady Wang, Moqi Xie & Zhang Jun with General Yuè Fēi in the middle, source:Wikipedia

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இ Don't Mess With Retired Husband

This is a special dedication to all retired husbands. When you have all the time in the world your darling bozz at home would insist you tag along to go shopping with her. Received this email hot from the oven from a buddy, Dale Borrott and thought we all, young and retired should laugh 兔tù~gether. Would sincerely thank the original unknown author or Mr Harris himself for his witty thoughts who probably could have tried the pranks and got banned. You may share the stunts you might wanna try or have tried while you are bored shopping with your wife in your comments and how you get off the hook. At this juncture Bananaz just thought of somebody who is none other than our Uncle Lee who caused a havoc when he released snakes and crabs in cinema when he was a kid, surely he must have lots of clever tricks up his sleeve. Here you go sit on tightly to your chair.

"Retired Husband"
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris ,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 02: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 07: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 04: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 04: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 03: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 06: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

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